Stop Blaming Mothers and Ignoring Fathers

Imagine risking your life to keep your children safe only to be accused of “choosing him over her children.” 

Domestic violence survivors all over the world share the experience of protecting their children, yet still being blamed for “choosing their partner over their children,” “failing to protect,” and “parental alienation.” Unchecked, these accusations can become the justification for child separation from protective mothers. Harmful claims can thrive in environments where mothers are blamed for domestic violence’s negative impacts on children and fathers’ behavior remains ignored.

In this groundbreaking book written for professionals and survivors, David Mandel deconstructs the six key myths at the heart of mother-blaming and father-ignoring culture, demonstrating their flaws and limitations. Each step along the way, David uses the principles and tools of the Safe & Together Model to outline easy-to-implement solutions to these all-too-common problems. Supported by case studies and testimonials of practitioners and survivors, you will learn new ways to partner with survivors and intervene with domestic violence perpetrators as parents. 

This book will show readers how to: 

  • Identify mother-blaming and father-ignoring in practices that harm children. 
  • Unlock the power in the concept: “Domestic violence perpetration is a parenting choice.”
  • Create systems that are more ethical, efficient, safer, and effective in their responses to domestic violence.  
  • Better intervene with perpetrators as parents. 
  • Give protective mothers fuller credit for their efforts. 
  • And finally, offer new ways to keep more children safe and together with their protective parent. 

Join the thousands of practitioners and survivors who have already learned and applied the Model.

David Mandel’s first book on the globally recognized approach
to domestic violence and children

Domestic violence survivors all over the world share the experience of protecting their children, yet still being blamed for “choosing their partner over their children,” “failing to protect,” and “parental alienation.”

In this groundbreaking book written for professionals and survivors, David Mandel deconstructs the six key myths at the heart of mother-blaming and father-ignoring culture, demonstrating their flaws and limitations.

Supported by case studies and testimonials of practitioners and survivors, David shows you how the Safe & Together Model can help you learn new ways to partner with survivors and intervene with domestic violence perpetrators as parents.


About the Author

David Mandel

David is a sought-after speaker working in community, government, and academic settings. He speaks about working with men as parents, domestic violence-informed systems change, partnering with domestic violence survivors, intervening with perpetrators as parents and how to end mother-blaming and father-ignoring policies and practices. Book David to speak either in person or online.

David’s Safe & Together Institute is available for training, train-the-trainer, and domestic violence-informed systems change consultation. Visit the Institute’s online learning portal. To learn how to become a  Safe & Together Institute Partner Agency or a Certified Trainer.

IMAGES OF THE AUTHOR

The cartoon graphics in this book were designed by Awele Emeli Awele, from Lago Nigeria, who is an award-winning illustrator and animator. She illustrates books and content for brands and organizations like Facebook and World Bank. She is the author of the book “Growing Up African. You can find her work at https://www.aweleemili.com/. Or purchase her book: https://www.aweleemili.com/project/growing-up-african